Confessions of a 21st Century Christian

I am tired. Not necessarily physically tired, although I did probably sleep poorly last night. Not necessarily mentally tired, although I am being stretched while at Bible college. Not necessarily spiritually tired, although I have found it hard to open my Bible daily in recent weeks. Not necessarily emotionally tired either, although a lot is going on in my life that I am part of.
Yet, I am tired. And I think I know why: being a 21st century Christian.

To be a Christian is to hear the call of the Saviour, to deny your self, die to your self, take up your Cross and follow Him to wherever He wishes for you to go. This is one of the most radical commands in all of human history:
Don’t be who you want to be. Don’t pursue your own hopes and dreams. Don’t be who society and culture wants you to be. Be someone else. Belong to someone else. Be Christ’s slave so that the gospel may be known!
It’s hard. God knows it is hard! If it was easy, you’d think more people would be Christians. Do not get me wrong here. I love being a follower of Christ. It is the best thing that has ever happened, will ever happen in my life. But I can’t help shaking this feeling of perpetual tiredness that has become part of my life. You may say that I am chronically tired. I might be. I’m not sure. I’d have to go to a doctor to find out. But I do know that it has had an adverse effect on my life. I once would have said spiritual life but my whole life is my spiritual life. I see no distinction between what is spiritual and what is “secular”. (I’ll address this in another post.)

We live in an age of instant gratification and social freedom. And after a while it gets to you. It’s certainly gotten to me. Mainstream media (I’m not sure if there is any other kind anymore) floods us with the idea that what we want is the best thing for us. Whether that be material goods or perceived rights, we are told what we need and what to think. I think that all of this has not necessarily has made me tired but it has certainly contributed.

Maybe you’ve felt this tiredness. The extra time it takes to get out of bed each morning. The extra effort needed to open the Word before doing the rest of the day. The extra effort needed to go to church and meet with God’s people. The extra effort needed to love those who you don’t like. Even the extra effort needed to love those who you enjoy being around. This tiredness may not have a solution that will make it go away but I do know where we can start. Jesus. Open the Word, read it, hold it dear, and then let it work in your life. Let Christ be your every. Be Him your North. Be Him your South. Be Him your East and your West. Be Him your working week and your Sunday rest. Nothing outside of Christ will bring you new life. He may not make you less tired. I have prayed for this burden to be taken from me but it hasn’t. Yet He is good. He has given. He will take away. Blessed be the name of YHWH.

Amen.